Sicko Day

Ups and downs the entire day. I am sick of all the crap that keeps bugging me. When will i ever get out of this turmoil? I cant have a good rest. NO REST. Whenever i read my past entries, i pity myself. Wat on earth went wrong and i have to stuck in this kind of shitty situation?

I dun blame others. I blame myself. People get stress cos of work, the work itself, i get stress for trivial matters. Lian described her workplace as a dumping ground. I would say mine is a landmine. I really feel like buying a ticket and leave this place. Life is too hard. I just want some quieter and peaceful life.

People work hard. I am too. People get tangible benefits, but i dun. Fair? To make things worse, there are some who are well paid but less stress. Bringing overseas colleagues to club, to have good food is part of job. DAmn. I have been keeping cool over the last few months. However, that doesnt mean i am entirely satisfied.

Was watching a tv drama, "Life Story" on channel 5 earlier. Brought me lots of memories when the world nearly turn upside down for me. The story is about a teenager, who often returns home late, made empty promises, parents worried...blah blah blah. The exact scenario took place, 10 years ago.

Mum waiting late for children to come home. Parents quarreled becos of rebellious kid. Lies became part and parcel of life. Vulgarities became the only communication between kid and parent. Sleepless night, praying hard that nothing will happen. I hated that kind of anxiety and feeling.

Sometimes, i cant bring myself to forgive someone who hurt the family so much. Although time have passed, the scar is still there. I was staring at the tv and just couldnt hold back my tears. Bad memories. I simply wish nothing had happened.

No matter wat, its a new day tomolo. Everything will come to an end soon. Will sleep early, try to forget abt what happen. Earth will spin even though i am unhappy. It wont stop for me. Its a choice. A sleep will do me good. I want better opportunity, i want better luck. Wish me luck ya!!!